Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Yes, this is the last day of 2008!

This is a time to reflect on what's happened

And bring hope for the future

No one knows what the new year will bring. There will be sad times and happy times, births and deaths. Some things will change, others will stay the same.

Just remember we're all made of the same stuff.

Except my wife. She's made of the stuff of goddesses.


Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Have you made your plans for New Years Eve yet?

Well Ladies and Germs, the wife and I were JUST discussing that very thing! I've even included visuals for the hearing impaired.

And it went

ME: Did you call Dick Clark and make reservations?

SEXY WIFE: I tried, but his receptionist wouldn't connect me. It appears Dick has taken out a restraining order against me after last year's New Year fiasco and our names have been blacklisted for all of his events.

ME: Well that explains why he greeted me with gun in hand last time I visited.

ME: I guess we can always get drunk with The Red Hot Chili Peppers like we did on your birthday.

SEXY WIFE: Well I suppose that's an option but that Flea character really bothers me. Most people wear pants, for crying out loud!

SEXY WIFE: Have you any thoughts on part-aying with common folk rather than hot shots celebs?

ME: You mean like Paris and Britney? I guess we could give it a try.....

SEXY WIFE: I checked with Paris, she's going to the party at Ellen and Portia's and I'm not speaking to Brit after she cut me out of her MTV documentary and refused to give me credit for the title of her latest album. I'm the one with the circus experience, who does she think she's kidding.

Well, in the end, the wife and I decided to just stay home and spend the New Years with each other and a couple close friends.

Spend New Years eve at home with my beautiful wife?

How can I resist that?!


Monday, December 29, 2008






Sunday, December 28, 2008


Well, it looks like ever since Mr. Pig has been receiving so much attention, his career has really taken off.

He's dating movie stars....

Starring in blockbuster movies....

And playing in heavy metal bands....

But I don't think ANY of us expected THIS:


Saturday, December 27, 2008


So, just listen to this


Friday, December 26, 2008



I'm not quite sure what Boxing Day is, but I imagine it kinda like this:

Or maybe like this:

Definitely NOT this:


Actually, for those of you looking for an educational experience:

No one seems to know whether the celebration of Boxing Day began in the middle of the 19th century or the middle of the ninth century. What we do know is that it definitely had its origins in England and is always celebrated on this day (except when December 26th falls on a Saturday or Sunday, the official holiday is moved to Monday) with government offices and many businesses closed.

Although folks throughout Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada celebrate Boxing Day, most don’t seem to know where the name originated or what Boxing Day signifies. All the theories of origin have the same theme: Those who considered themselves of a higher social class, gave to those beneath them. The wealthy landowners of the Middle Ages celebrated Christmas on Christmas Day, and their servants who worked for them on Christmas Day were given boxes of food and fruit on December 26th. Leftovers?

Another theory states that, in England, servants would carry boxes to their employers to receive coins, or their employers would leave small earthenware boxes for them filled with money on the day after Christmas. These were special year-end gifts. The first Christmas bonuses?

Still another theory: Church alms boxes were opened on Christmas Day and the contents distributed on December 26th. The first annual holiday-donation solicitation?

Today, Boxing Day is celebrated with family, friends, food, fun and friendship. The boxes involved are more likely to be filled with gifts being exchanged or after-Christmas sale items.

Charles Dickens wrote that Boxing Day was a holiday “… on which postmen, errand boys, and servants of various kinds received a Christmas box of contributions from those whom they serve.”

But personally, I prefer THIS interpretation:


Thursday, December 25, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


All of us here at Elvis Loves Donuts, Inc. (yes, we're a corporation) wish you and yours a most joyous holiday season!

And trust me, the gold suit does NOT do my sexy wife justice!



Feliz Navidad!

My beautiful wife and I would like to wish everyone out there a very happy holiday and new year!

We are currently on vacation touring all things holiday-ish.....

But worry not, dear readers. We have photos for your viewing pleasure!

Here is the wife in Whoville:

Here she is imbibing with the Bailey family in Bedford Falls:

Then we visited the land of misfit toys and ran into some old friends:

We tried to tell these kids to stay away from the icy pole but they didn't listen so we just toasted them!

Not many people realize, but my wife also has a great singing voice....

She even sang on a Bing Crosby Christmas record!

I actually just finished wrapping her gift last night.......don't say anything though. I want it to be a surprise.

But then again....she already has that.

Maybe I should get her a Chia?

Monday, December 22, 2008


The offices of Elvis Loves Donuts, Inc. (yes, we're a corporation) have been snowed in for several days.
As a result, we're starting to feel a little THIS:

Well....maybe without the axe.


Sunday, December 21, 2008


It's getting closer to that holiday in which we all partake in consumerism.
We here at Elvis Loves Donuts, Inc. (yes, we're a corporation) are here to help!

So, here's a list of gift ideas that are sure to make for a joyous holiday.

For that special man in your life:

For that person who has everything:

For your favorite niece or nephew (believe me, you don't want this in YOUR house):

But I think the most popular gift choices come in the chia variety:

And my favorite:

Happy shopping everyone!


Saturday, December 20, 2008

Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profile

We here at Elvis Loves Donuts, Inc. (yes, we're a corporation) are currently experiencing the unfortunate consequences of a rare NW snowstorm.....

As a direct result, we are snowed in and can't make it into the office to publish today's blog.
We hope to be able to rent a snowmobile tomorrow and get back on the wagon.

Thank you for your understanding and we wish you well in your future endeavors.


Friday, December 19, 2008



Abraham Lincoln's mother died from milk poisoning.

The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites.

Why all the morbid trivia bits, you ask?

Look at this:

This, my dear readers, is a card I discovered from my beloved wife.
It looks like she has found Mr. Bundt!!

Well, I'm not gonna go down without a fight!!
So I did a little sleuthing and came across THIS:

Mr. Bundt, if you happen to be reading this, be forewarned that I will hunt you down and ridicule you until you have a severe eating disorder!

Oh, how I long for that moment, Mr. Bundt. The day when I will have the means I need to haul you out of your cushy lair and expose to the light of justice as the monster that you are!



There may have been an error in my calculations.

There was a slight impediment with the card....
Let's take another look:

"You are the best husband a girl could ask for" apologies. Seems my lovely and thoughtful wife was focusing her affections on yours truly.

Come to think of it, how could anyone not be wholeheartedly enamored by her beautiful face......

I am truly the luckiest damn blogger in this universe.

myspace layouts

Or any universe for that matter.


Thursday, December 18, 2008


Faithful readers will remember a while back when Nico provided the guest blog entry. Well today is Edie's turn! She has been asking (meowing) when her turn would come.
So ladies and germs, without further ado (or any ado for that matter), I present our guest blogger:


Meow meow mew mew meow meow

Meow meow mew MEOW!!

Meow meow mew....

Meow mew mew

Mew mew mew MEOW MEOW!!

Meow meow

Meow mew mew mew

Meow meow meow meow!


Mew mew.....