Friday, January 30, 2009



Humans share approximately half the DNA of a banana.

So, dear readers, as you head into the weekend, ask yourself "what would a banana do?"

Then tread carefully.....


Thursday, January 29, 2009


My apologies. Our offices have been inundated with a whole lotta nothing.

So, in interim, look at this lovely picture. And if you ever come across this product, contact our offices IMMEDIATELY.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

O "ABRACADABRA LPS DO BRASIL" está bloqueado pelo BLOGGER, que recebeu denúncia anônima. O BLOGGER é um serviço gratuito e se reserva o direito de fechar os blogs sem aviso-prévio e sem investigar as denúncias. Tudo isto está bem explicado nos termos de adesão, que eu aceitei quando escolhi este serviço.

Tenho todo o conteúdo do blog a salvo e estou providenciando um outro caldeirão.

Faz parte de ser bruxa, levar umas chamuscadas de vez em quando (e aproveitamos este fogo para manter o bronzeado!!)

Por isso mesmo, está tudo bem.
Estou tranquila porque sei que nada é por acaso e que tudo, absolutamente tudo, só acontece para o melhor.

Quem quiser receber um e-mail informando o novo endereço, por favor escreva para o que será informado oportunamente.

Fiquei super feliz em saber, através de inúmeras mensagens, que o Abracadabra está fazendo falta. E só faz falta aquilo que faz diferença para melhor.

Um grande abraço a todos e até breve,

Bruxa do Vinil


Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Today's post is dedicated to all you singles looking for that edge in the market....

We've compiled a list of pick up lines that may or may not work.
And as always, we are not responsible for any success or rejection that may occur as a result of implementing said lines....

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.

If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.

Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.

If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.

You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.

Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Be unique and different, say yes.

Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.

Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.

Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happens once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.

You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!

If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.

If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!

I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen.

There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look.

Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful.

There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.

Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!

You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

You look beautiful today, just like every other day.

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!

If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.

Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it's just a sparkle.

Monday, January 26, 2009


To my wife:

I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say

I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you

I'm no longer moved to drink strong whiskey
'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you

Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years

But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you

If I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you


Sunday, January 25, 2009


Check THIS out:

Don't believe it?
Then maybe you should check THIS out:

And we also came across this little piece of evidence:

So, dear readers, don't judge until all the evidence has been accounted for.


Today's Iconic Birthday:


O'my Luve's like a red, red rose, That's newly sprung in June: O'my Luve's like the melodie, That's sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass, So deep in luve am I; And I will luve thee still, my dear, Till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear, And the rocks melt wi' the sun; And I will luve thee still, my dear, While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare-thee-weel, my only Luve! And fare-thee-weel, a while! And I will come again, my Luve, Tho' 'twere ten thousand mile!


Saturday, January 24, 2009


Well, it's Saturday.
And once again, I am left unprepared and have nothing to share.

So let's just celebrate 2 birthdays and go back to bed.

"And I am lost, and I can't even say why"
-Neil Diamond

"Enjoy every sandwich"
-Warren Zevon


Friday, January 23, 2009


The Academy Awards announced the nominees for best picture yesterday.

We here at Elvis Loves Donuts, Inc. (yes, we're a corporation) were there as it happened....

Let's recap!

The best picture nominees are:

The Curious Case of Buttons!


Drink Milk

The Reedar

And my favorite....

Corndog Millionaire

Veggie dogs, of course.


Thursday, January 22, 2009


I came across the following comic in our local paper (you can always click on the pics for a closer view).....

Wow. Shocking, huh?

I then hired a private detective

to see how bad things really are....

He came back with the following evidence of Mr. Brown doing time for tax evasion:

It seems the Browns have been living a life of crime and squalor...

Who knew?

And Snoopy?

Don't ask.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009


Did you watch the inauguration?
Did you see Aretha's hat?

My first reaction was "what the....?" but then I noticed......

I never realized Aretha dictated the fashion world so much....

BUT I REALLY didn't realize the impact on architecture!

Or transportation....

Aretha may be the queen of soul, but my wife is the queen of my heart and she looks HOT in that hat!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009



ON FEBRUARY 17, 2009, Elvis Loves Donuts, Inc. will begin broadcasting in HD and cease all analog content. Below are some frequently asked questions about our digital conversion:

Luckily, the good ol' U.S. Government has provided the following coupon to help take some of the sting off the cost of the converter needed to continue to read our blog....

Once you've purchased the handy converter at your local electronics store, just follow the instructions below and voila! You will be able to continue to enjoy your favorite Elvis Loves Donuts, Inc. content in HD!

It was keeping our accounting department up at night.

Monday, January 19, 2009


Does anyone understand this?

The closest I can come up with is the rule about waiting to swim after you eat.

Well I'm gonna spend the rest of today's holiday trying to figure it out.....

Sunday, January 18, 2009


What happened to Sunday's update?
Aw, forget it.
It's too late now.
Let's just hope Monday's Holiday doesn't deter another update.

Saturday, January 17, 2009


You made it to Saturday!
Now why exactly are you wasting your weekend reading this?

Since I am in complete control of my world, we're going to spend today celebrating one of my favorite artists birthday.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mr. Steve Earle!

Mr. Earle sure has changed through the years. Let's take a look....

First the hair grew....

Then he went to prison for heroin use....

Then he got out....

Then he started losing the hair on the top of his head and gaining it on his face...

And now....

Wait a sec. That looks an awful lot like Grizzly Adams.

Just as I suspected!

Let's take one more look at today's birthday boy before we go head first into the weekend....

Ah, memories.....reminds me of the days of Texas....EEK!


Friday, January 16, 2009



I recently came across the following articles:

Seriously folks, why would you EVER want to mess with THIS:

But if you do happen across Sting and company, be careful. They are armed and dangerous!


That's all.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Martin Luther King, Jr.

was born on this day in 1929. His lifelong goal was to bring about social, political and economic equality for blacks. In the quest for his ideals, he became one of the greatest civil rights leaders of the 20th century. A Baptist minister (as were his father and grandfather before him), he preached ‘nonviolent resistance’ to achieve full civil rights for all.

Leading the African-American struggle for equality through nonviolent demonstrations was what earned King the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964.

In spite of his nonviolent preachings, Martin Luther King, Jr. was the target of violence on several occasions. His home was bombed in Montgomery, Alabama; he was stabbed while in New York City, had stones thrown at him in Chicago and, ultimately, was assassinated (age 39) by a hidden rifleman, in Memphis, Tennessee on April 4, 1968.

Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday has been a public holiday in the United States since 1986, commemorated on the 3rd Monday in January.

King wrote five books espousing his philosophy: Stride Toward Freedom [1958], Strength to Love [1963], Why We Can’t Wait [1964], Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community? [1967] and The Trumpet of Conscience [1968].

On August 28, 1963 more than 200,000 people marched from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC and, as millions more watched on television, King addressed the throng saying, “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal.’”



Wednesday, January 14, 2009


The following letter arrived in our office yesterday:

Well, Miss Fanning, you are in for quite an adventurous story!

It was back in 1998 when I came across the following article in the local paper:

Not many people are aware, but Mrs. Donuts maiden name is Miss Cupcake. Seemed like kismet from the beginning!


I immediately filled out an application to appear on The Bachelorette.

I must have impressed them with my excellent skills because they chose me to be on the show!

Well, I'm sure by now you know the outcome!

And THAT, dear readers, was how we came to be.....


Tuesday, January 13, 2009



Our handy reporter was fortunate enough to snag THIS exclusive photo of Mr. Biden and Mr. Talabani:

The question here is, WHY ARE THEY SITTING SO FAR APART?

Let's get the ol' Elvis Loves Donuts, Inc. measuring tape (currently on sale in our online store!) and see what the actual distance is....

More distance than a bread box

Even more than a Hummer I

Even further apart than all the members of Motley Crue!

We have a winner!!
Biden and Talabani are currently sitting apart from each other the complete distance of Mt. Rushmore!

Special Happy Birthday to Traci!
Maybe this year we'll remember what happened at the party.


The local Evening Magazine is rerunning yours truly from The Elvis Invitationals:

You can watch the video here: