Saturday, February 28, 2009


And a happy birthday to Brian Jones!
(he's on the far right)


Friday, February 27, 2009


Did I actually FORGET to post today?

....or was it intentional....??

Like I would actually not celebrate the birthday of Neal Schon.....I have one of his picks for goodness sake!


Thursday, February 26, 2009


The following is an exact transcript of a phone message I received a couple days ago:

Yeah hi Charlotte this is Tom back at work.

uh............working slowly however, but I am back.

And I had a question on the January sheet you had a refund of three thousand (fumbling around noises) excuse me

I'm having trouble keeping the phone by my ear...and trying to.......uh.........of 3,164 dollars.

And I couldn't (fumbling around noises) couldn't figure out exactly what that was about or what to credit or whatever....

I'm trying to get everything in basically the last year

so we won't really have much to contend with for '09....

so if you could give me a call.

Thought you might be around today since uh........

(huge sigh)......Monday's normally a day off for you.

So give me a call.

Thanks, bye.

Well, it wouldn't be a blog if I just left it at that. SO....I decided to do a little research to analyze exactly what the message meant.

Obviously, the January sheet refers to this:

But then things start to get tricky.

While doing a search about the $$ refund, I came across this picture of Wesley Snipes in drag:

Now I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but obviously there is some sort of moral judgment at question here.

And just as odd but less gender related, when I researched the part of contending with '09, I came across this:

I can only conclude that the contention will involve some sort of pushing and pulling mechanism and will ultimately determine how people will live and die by their decisions.

The final part is fairly obvious.

This Charlotte person has Monday off and is usually seen just hanging around.

Of course, I could have just called the guy back and explained that he had the wrong number.


Wednesday, February 25, 2009


Ladies and Germs, I present to you some nostalgia from yours truly.

This is where all my life's dreams came to pass.
And check out that hair! And those glasses!


The following image contains scenes of an adult graphic nature and should not be viewed by minors or those with weak stomachs or immune systems.

For some reason (and I still stand by my decision), I thought it would be appropriate to take a picture with my pants down while in Mississippi.

Yes. I chose to be photographed in Mississippi with my shorts around my ankles. Experiences like this made me who I am.


Not coincidentally, the person that took the first photo once compared me to today's Iconic birthday:

But I would much rather celebrate another Iconic birthday today:


Here she is in last year's Ghost Town

Now please excuse me while I go photoshop today's pics to my advantage.


Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Today's celebrity sighting:
That guy in that one episode of Two and a Half Men

He just happened to be at the local coffee shop getting his mid morning caffeine fix. So naturally I snagged him for an interview.
It went something

Me: Hey! You're that guy from that episode of Two and a Half Men!

Him: Yes. But I've been a thespian for years and have many other credits to my name.

Me: I like Two and a Half Men!

Him: Um, yes, ok. But again, it's not the only acting job I've had.

Me: So, what's it like on the set of Two and a Half Men?

Him: It was fine. Everyone is professional and conducted themselves accordingly.

Me: Is Charlie Sheen a jerk on the set of Two and a Half Men?

Him: Again, sir, everyone including Mr. Sheen acted professionally.

Me: How about the kid on the show? Are they upset that he's growing up and not as cute anymore?

Him: My good man, I would appreciate it if you would kindly allow me to enjoy my coffee in peace.

Me: So, were YOU a jerk on the set of Two and a Half Men?

Him: Good day.


Well that went even better than I anticipated!

AND as an odd coincidence, not many people realize it but my beloved wife, Mrs. Donuts, was on the show before she decided to pursue other interests.

Let's close with today's Iconic birthday:


All I got to do is to love you.


Monday, February 23, 2009


What would you say if I asked of you
- out of loneliness, out of loneliness
What would you say if I asked of you
- out of loneliness, out of loneliness
Could I be with you
Can I be with you

Its warm inside the night club
Your face is lit up by a disco light
I dont want to go home alone, not tonight
I have a picture of a man who used to sit in that chair
I will go anywhere
Just as long as Im with someone
You will do, just take me home for tea

If I told you my stories and sang you my songs
Would you laugh at me
Would you pity me
What would you say if I asked of you
Not out of accident, out of loneliness
Would you shelter me
Will you shelter me

I will be gone when you wake up
No awkward breakfasts, I swear
And dont you look for me, because I could be anywhere
In someone elses house
In someone elses arms
With someone else to warm the pain away

What can I ask of you
What would you want from me
What would you say if I just fell asleep


Sunday, February 22, 2009


I like this clip. Therefore, you will watch it.


Saturday, February 21, 2009


Without going into too much detail, this is a summary of my dream last night:

I'll let you come up with your own conclusions.


Friday, February 20, 2009


I was in the post office yesterday and saw the new stamps available.

One of which, was an EDGAR ALLEN POE stamp!

Is it just me, or do you find that a bit macabre?

This is a guy who brought us such literary classics as




Well, naturally this got me thinking......what else will they be using for stamps?

I actually found these samples currently being considered for the next new stamp rollout....

But I think my favorite would definitely be....


It would make me switch back to snail mail.


Thursday, February 19, 2009



Today is a milestone in computer technology!
We here at Elvis Loves Donuts, Inc. (yes, we're a corporation) are excited to present to you the very first SCRATCH AND SNIFF BLOG!!

Let's get started!

In order to not damage your computer screen, use a light screen cleaning cloth and rub slightly on the image. Wait for the cleaning substance to dry, then smell away!






That last one was a trick. We put the smell of garbage and mold to throw you off.
Shame on you for eating pigs!!


Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Well this is certainly interesting. I was just perusing through the ol' local paper website when I noticed THIS:

So naturally, I clicked on the link to quench my curiosity.

And THIS is what came up:

(click on pic to enlarge)

Wow. Simply wow.

I'm either really impressed or contemplating a lawsuit.
Check your local news to find out which.


Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Wait.....what happened to Monday?
Did anyone work?


I had a whole theme and some pics to prepare a most excellent post for today (Monday, for all practical purposes) but got caught up at some mall and then ate some fried cheese...

And then I got caught up in a rather large pool playing scheme with some girl that looked suspiciously like THIS.....

But fortunately for me, I am considered kind of a

And THEN when I was finished, everyone decided to play a video game called Buck Hunter...

But as many of you know, I'm not a fan of harming animals in any way. Be it virtual or not.

So, I had to sit there and fend off advances from female patrons.

Which normally I don't mind but in this particular instance I was still a bit loopy from cold medicine.

So, long story short, I ran out of time to bring you the usual quality update in which you are used to.
So instead you get this crappy retelling of my evening.


Monday, February 16, 2009


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Saturday, February 14, 2009


Friday, February 13, 2009


So, if the marketing gurus have done their job well, you know that tomorrow is Valentine's Day.
Whether you have a sweetheart or not, we here at Elvis Loves Donuts, Inc. (yes, we're a corporation) are here for your entertainment!

Here are some handy Valentine cards that you can easily print out and distribute accordingly....

I'm not even sure what that one means.

Ouch. Sorry about that one. Perhaps this last one will make up for the crudeness....

And today's Iconic birthday allows us to double up on themes!

Happy Birthday Peter Gabriel!
From a most heart felt scene.....

"I gave her my heart. She gave me a pen."

And if you're having love problems during this most over-rated consumer driven holiday, I wish I could help. But alas, I am as confused as the sea.

And I'll never understand why lovers come and go. I wish Mrs. Rita would tell me.


Thursday, February 12, 2009


By now, I'm sure you've all heard about the steroid use of certain ball players.
But not much has been said about the steroid use in Hollywood.

For example:

And what about little Haley Joel Osment from The Sixth Sense?

Well I think that answers a lot of questions.

Hmmm....come to think of it, the wife has been working out a LOT lately....

I think it's time to throw away all the protein shakes in the fridge....


Today's Iconic birthday: Joe Don Baker!

"You got a warrant?"

"Yeah, I keep it in my shoe!"

Words to live by.


Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Welcome to the middle of the week.
Yours truly has been feeling ill for what seems like years.

In fact, I have a picture describing my symptoms.

In fact, I'm so delusional from cold medicine, I find this comic absolutely hilarious.

For some reason, this one left me scratching my head....



Tuesday, February 10, 2009



At first, we were as bewildered as the rest of the world. UNTIL, our reporter came across THIS picture:

Ah. NOW we understand the urgency.

Let's continue on with today's Iconic Birthday...

Let's take a look at Jimmy at work...

Wait. What? That's not right.

Let's try that again....

Much better.

And remember,

Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Such a lovely ride.